Over the past month I have spoken with a number of people about letting go of past issues and baggage. This is a very common thing for many people and I know that the idea of letting go of the past can be a very scary thing for many people. However, in order for us to move forward, we need to be able to release the past. This is especially true when it comes to past relationship issues.
Regardless of the circumstances, there comes a point when you must let go of the other person both emotionally and energetically. The process of letting go moves at a different speed for everyone and there really is no one way to effectively cut cords. However there are things that can be done to help alleviate the heartache and stress so that the healing can begin.
There are two cards in the deck that immediately make me think of the breakdown in relationships, the 5 of Cups and the 3 of Swords. Each of these tell the same story for me but with very different reactions. The 5 of Cups shows us a woman in rage throwing three of her cups in to a river of emotion. She is volatile and angry, so much so that she does not even see the other two cups behind her in the golden glow. She is focused on the pain and anguish of her situation and has lost sight of the good feelings that she still has. In the3 of Swords, we see a woman holding a rose in the rain. Behind her is a figure running away under the light of a street lamp. She is sad, but does not turn to watch the other figure leave or try to follow them. She seems to know that it is over and there is no use chasing after what is gone.
Both of these emotional reactions happen for all of us throughout our process of letting go. We rage at the loss of what we held so dear only to completely blind ourselves from the love and light that is still in our grasp. However, at some point, we find a way to shift from the feelings of loss and anguish to a realization that it is time to let go and move on.
Unfortunately, many of us get stuck in the rage and anguish part for way too long. So how do we work on getting past this stage and on to the energetic release? We need to take action. The anger, frustration and sadness that is developed when we are hurt often creates a lot of pent up energy in us that needs to be released. Putting this energy into intended actions can significantly reduce the pain and help you to move on. One suggestion is to hold a candle ceremony to neutralize the energy in the relationship and allow you to start over. This ceremony can be as elaborate or as simple as you like. The important part is that you put your intentions into the candles and allow your energy to be released through them. It is always important to keep your intentions pure and love based. This ceremony is designed to neutralize the energy between you, not create any feelings of ill will or resentment for either party.
This ceremony is best done over two to three days leading up to and culminating with the New Moon. I also recommend using candles that will burn for a minimum of 3-4 hours total.
What you will need:
Your own sacred space that can remain undisturbed for 2-3 days (as much as a room or as little as a TV tray will be fine)
(2) white candles to symbolize you and the other person in the relationship*
(1) gray candle
candle holders that will catch any excess drips and hold the candles well
On day one of the ceremony, place the three candles on your sacred space with the two white candles on opposite sides of the gray candle, about an inch or two apart. Call in your Angles, Guides and whatever other protective energies you wish to help you keep any negative energies out of your sacred space and help you to keep your intentions pure. As you light the far left candle, say out loud or to yourself that this candle represents your energy in this relationship. Light the far right candle and set the intention that this candle represents the other person’s energy. Now light the gray candle in the middle and hold the intention that this candle is neutralizing the energy between both people and allowing them to let go quickly and easily. While these candles burn, meditate on and visualize the other person walking away from you. Allow your emotions to flow naturally and process the feelings that come up. Sadness, anger, relief, happiness…whatever comes up, let it flow through you so you do not carry it with you after the ceremony. This part may take 10 minutes and it may take an hour. When you feel you are done, extinguish the candles in the reverse order that you lit them. Release your protective energies/Angels/Guides and thank them for their help.
On day two, move the two white candles an additional 1-2 inches away from each other while leaving the gray candle in place. Call in your protection and repeat the lighting and intention setting from day one. Meditate and visualize yourself walking away from the other person this time. Think of the things that you can and/or would do now that you have this freedom. Let your mind run free and do not limit yourself in any way. When you feel you are done, release and thank your protective energies.
On the day of the new moon, again move the white candles 1-2 inches apart while leaving the gray candle in place. Call in your protection and repeat the lighting and intentions. This time, set your meditations and visualization on limitless freedom. Do not allow yourself to be bound by financial, material or even physical limitations. If the other person comes to mind, let them see you in your freedom and accept them in theirs. This ceremony is not intended to cause jealousy, anger or resentment but rather a neutrality between you so that each can feel comfortable following their path. When you feel you are done, allow the candles to burn down completely and release your protection with much love and gratitude for their help.
*As a side note, you can use colored candles to signify each person based on primary zodiac colors but I prefer to use white to symbolize the equality of both parties.
Is letting go hard for you? What steps do you take to release? Please share your thoughts on this ceremony and how you let go.