I took some time this past weekend to take a trip with my kids up to Michigan to see my family. It had been quite some time since we had the opportunity to drive up so I thought it would be nice to swing through and give the kids some time with the grandparents. We had a full day ahead of us including lunch with Grandma B, dinner with Grandpa and Grandma W and a few other things thrown in as well. All was looking great until a miscommunication threatened to throw a wrench into the works and muck up the day. A short notice change and some misplaced communication caused some hurt feelings and a bunch of frustration. We were less than 12 hours away from starting our trip and I was afraid it was going to be cancelled or at least strained due to the tension that was brewing.

I decided to throw down some cards to see what was going on and what I could do to help calm the situation down. Wanting to figure out where the tension started from, I threw down three cards asking how the frustrated family member was seeing the situation. I got the Five of Wands, Queen of Pentacles and High Priestess. There was tension and frustration there of course, but the two strong ladies were showing me that the stress was coming from a feeling of wanting to have a level of comfort and respect in the family and a desire to be seen as a source of wisdom and looked up to. I could see right away where the breakdown started and why it seemed to upset them so much. First half of the puzzle was solved.

I then put some cards down to see how I can best relate to this person in the future to prevent these types of issues. Five of Coins, Five of Cups and the King of Swords…yikes! The first thing that came to mind was that I needed to get over myself and stop making excuses or dancing around delicate subjects. The fives were reminding me that my woes were exactly that, MY woes. The trials and tribulations that I have in my life have been used as an excuse for not doing a lot of things. Some have been wholly justified, others…not so much. The King was sitting there telling me that it is time to just be upfront and straightforward with this person. Leave nothing to interpretation and be as clear as I can when setting plans or communicating needs.

Using this information, I was able to reach out and calm the tension through clearly communicating where the breakdown occurred, acknowledging my part in it and working together to clear up the misunderstanding. When it comes to family, we so often assume that the other people know us so well that they must know what we mean. Unfortunately, this is often very far from the truth and can regularly cause quite a bit of tension and bickering. Taking the time to stop and look at the situation from the other person’s perspective gives an amazing amount of clarity to the situation. This new clarity can then be used to see how you can change your communication to better relate to them. Bit by bit, we might even be able to talk to our families without the drama! Maybe…

Have you used the Tarot or other tools to help you understand your family? Share your stories with us!