Do men and women read tarot differently? Is the guidance we offer the same – or is there a distinct masculine/feminine edge to our words? Join Theresa Reed and myself each month as we tackle questions sent in from our readers and see how different – or similar – we really are with our interpretations and advice.
We will each prepare a reading separately and then comment on each other’s interpretations and put this all together in one fun (and thought provoking) post for our readers to enjoy.
This isn’t a “tarot battle of the sexes” – this is an exploration, a mash up, a contemplation.
Question from Bonnie: Two years ago, my two daughters (now ages 8 and 13) and I moved into an apartment down the hall from my fiance. A year ago, my fiance and I got married, but he is still reluctant to move in with us — he feels very anxious about it. Can you tell me what issue we most need to focus on in order to build a stronger sense of connection as a family?
Matt’s reading: Knight of Pentacles, Eight of Swords, Wheel of Fortune. Bonnie, In looking at your cards, the first thing I see is that you and your husband need to get your feet on common ground as far as your expectations and plans for the future. There is a sense that while you are both looking in the same direction, you are not seeing the same things. I see him represented in the Knight of Pentacles and you in the Eight of Swords. When we look at the cards themselves, we can see that the Knight is very focused on the earthly, physical needs around him. He is industrious and seeks growth in all he does. His work is very important to him and carries with it his sense of self. He is ruled by Virgo and feels a great need to have all his “ducks in a row” and may even experience great anxiety when confronted with disorder and perceived chaos. This does not mean that he does not have that same desire to create growth. He may however, be feeling overwhelmed and uncertain as to how he can make that happen in such an unfamiliar environment.
In the Eight of Swords, there is an overwhelming feeling that you are letting your emotions cloud and disrupt your thoughts. The figure in the card is bound and seemingly stranded in a muddy pool. Surrounded by swords, she feels trapped and helpless as she cannot see her way out. The anxiety and frustration is real as the more she struggles, the tighter the ropes seem to get. However, if she can calm her mind and her emotions, she will find that the ropes are not tied and can be slipped off.
Here is where I start to see the disconnect between you and your husband and how to start building towards a greater sense of family. Imagine for a moment, that you and your husband are the figures in these cards. You are calling out to him for help as you feel trapped and bound in a situation you cannot see the future of. He is safely grounded on shore and though he cares for you, he does not feel that he needs to get in the water to help you. He can see that you are able to free yourself if you just “calm down”. From his vantage point, all you need to do is untie yourself and come to where he is, up on the land where it is safe and dry. From your point of view, what you need from him is to come into the water to comfort you so that you can work through your emotions and fears knowing that you are safe and protected by him.
The Wheel of Fortune carries with it an element of luck and chance but also a calling to harness the power of the stars and take advantage of the strengths you have been given. Though I am not sure what your astrological charts look like, I am led to believe that there are a fair number of opposing forces at work here for you two. Understanding your individual strengths and weaknesses as potential ways to support and encourage each other can hep you to find the middle ground that seems to be lacking in your current relationship status. Your husband’s analytical side can help you to see patterns and paths towards growth together. Your passion and emotion can help him to understand that the world is not colored in black and white and it is in muddied waters that we are most excited to find hidden treasures.
Focus your energies on meeting in that middle ground where the safety of the land meets the unpredictability of the waters. It will take a conscious effort of both of your parts to do this as neither of you will be happy living wholly in the realm of the other. Almost like the pages from a romantic story, take steps towards understanding each others fears and you can walk together down the shoreline. One foot on land and one in sea.
Theresa’s comments about Matt’s reading: Who says guys can’t be sensitive? Matt’s reading is very nurturing and the advice is sound. I also found it intriguing that I see a lot of “control” issues present in my reading while Matt saw two people needing to find common ground. It also seems that we both found that Bonnie needed to center herself emotionally before approaching her partner with the issue. The one thing that I think Matt and I both agree on is that this relationship can get through this – with communication and mutual respect, they should be able to find that middle path.
Theresa’s Reading: The Chariot, The Magician, Ace of Swords. This seems to be about feeling “in control” on his part. When I look at The Chariot I see that the man is wearing armor and he is holding tightly on to the reigns. For him, keeping his own space may be allowing him to feel as if he is more in control of his life. He may have fears about giving up some sort of control or privacy should he move in with Bonnie and her daughters.
The Magician can be interpreted as willpower – another sense here that the partner may be feeling as if he needs to assert himself. Notice in both cards there is a solo man – could it be that he is used to living by himself and is uncomfortable moving in with three females? Perhaps he is worried that he will lose himself in the process. The Chariot and Magician cards are both rather strong – he feels very strongly about keeping his space/life as is.
I look at the Ace of Swords and that says that it may be time to approach this in a logical format. Talk with him and perhaps appeal to his rational side rather than trying to push this on an emotional level. Guilt or any sort of pushiness may make him dig his heels in further. Show him the benefits of living together – but be patient. This much stubbornness cannot be undone overnight.
Matt’s comments about Theresa’s reading: These are great cards to show where he is at and how to get through to him. Even in my spread, he was symbolized by a solo male figure that is in control and not terribly eager to give up the comfort of that solitude and order. With the presence of Swords here as well, I agree that it will be on a logical level that you can get through to him. Plans will need to be drawn up together on how to build a cohesive family structure. Actionable steps with logical reasons will help him to see the benefits of coming together as family. But this card is not just for you or him individually. It is a call for both of you to stop for just a minute and approach this from a new line of thinking. What has worked in the past is just not carrying you towards the future you are desiring. It’s time to try something new!
What do you think? What advice would you give Bonnie? Do you see any difference or similarity in our readings? What surprised you? Post your thoughts in the comment section below: