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Death. Really? Nice…
In honor of Candlemas, I asked myself the question of “how can I be a better candle?” and I got the Death card.
What kind of death is it that will help me in this quest of becoming a better candle?
Well, I guess the first thing is to figure out what it means to be a better candle. Being a candle means shining my light in the darkness. It means offering my flame up to Spirit in honor of the blessings that I have received. It also means being the catalyst for others to spark their personal flames. To be a better candle then, implies that I shine brighter, honor more and spark life in a greater audience. I have to admit that I initially hoped for a bright card like the Sun to tell me that I needed to shine bright. Or maybe the Star to tell me that it’s okay to be every bit of me, uninhibited and free.
But no, I get Death.
Gloom and doom, darkness and sadness…right? Hell no!
In a way, by getting this card, I got the Sun and the Star together in one. The Death card is ruled by Pluto and and is in the realm of Scorpio. With my Sun and Ascendant in Scorpio, this card is telling me to be me. It is showing me that in order for me to be a brighter flame, I need to live up to my own expectations and be everything that I think I can be. For me to honor Spirit more, I need to let go of the drama and baggage that is holding me back from the transformations that are waiting for me. To spark the flame in those around me, I need to be willing to reach out to them in the darkness and show them that there is nothing to fear.
With the transitions and transformations that I have in store for me, it is not surprising that there is some fear circling around. When I look at the figures in this card, fear is a major obstacle in the transition from drowning in the murky waters to rising into the heavens. I don’t like the feeling of mental and emotional drowning anymore than the next guy. It is overwhelming and debilitating and often leaves us in a state of near or full on panic. We call out for salvation hoping that someone will hear us and come to the rescue. What do we do though when the only rescuer turns out to be a huge cloaked skeleton holding a scythe? Scary situation, meet scary resolution. This is what keeps many of us in the dark and in the murky waters. Regardless of how much we may feel like we are drowning, the idea of reaching out towards what seems to be a horrifying solution is just too much. Yet this is exactly what we need to do.
It is in reaching out and grabbing hold of the unknown that we are pulled from the waters and given a new chance. It is in embracing the idea that there just may be something better on the other side of the darkness that we begin to shed the baggage and rise up lighter and brighter. There is a death that is called for in being a better candle. It is a death of the past and the pain and limitations it puts on us. It is a death of our fears, allowing us to move freely and shine brightly. It is in these deaths that we are truly reborn in the present and able to construct the future that we desire.
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